Sometimes I just wanna scream.

ADSAHGAOWEIGHWGJWJKJSDFLSKAJ;SHBH;IOWREHGIOWEHGIOEWNVIEWNJISD
FJSEIAFJ;WEGJELKWJG;EWHGEWHGEWHG;EWHIGOWH;GWHIGWIHGHWAGWE
GHEWIGHWAIGHOEWHG;IWHG
AWHGIEWHGIOWHGOW
HGOIWHGIOEWHIOGHWIOGHIWOHGOIWHGIOWH;GWAOIJFEWJRAEWLK;G NNVJIOSDNAJOIVEWNJ
GBMREOTBPRNJINTIREATJNEWAMTJNEWPIAMTJEWAMTBJEAW
MTJUBIMJBTIEWAMJBTIWEANMIJTMEATBAINBTINABJIOTAMBJTIEWAMBTJIOESAMBTJIOEABTWIEANJBTW
EAT
ESABTJISEA
TBSEJITBNSEJAKTSMBJTESMBOITSNBJITOEWNJTBIEWANTOIEWNBTEWAIBTAOEWM

....and yet...screaming doesn't help this pain I feel inside.

For All Time

"Lately, I've been thinking bout you.
Baby, you don't know what I'm going through.
But every time, when I look at your face,
I forget about all my problems, baby, 'cause you lighten up my days.

And whenever I'm with you, it feels so right.
So I ask you this one question, girl, "Won't you please be mine?"

'Cause I'm falling for you.
Girl you're the one I choose.
Whatever you ask, I'll do.
'Cause I care so much about you.
You're always on my mind.
I need you to be by my side.
I want you to be mine oh mine
For all time."

Honestly, is it wrong for me to feel this way? I know Christine&I just broke up, but I feel like I'm already falling for another girl. FML man. I can't stop thinking about ____. She's been on my mind, day and night. Only a few people know about it, &I want to tell her when I see her on the 21st of August, but I'm all too shy. I've been told she doesn't care for crushes &things like that. Which makes my chances so, so slim. Could this be lust? or am I in like with her. Hahaha. I think it's the second one. Ugh..I'll leave it up to God. He knows what's best for me.

____, I'm in like with you.
Hahaha(:

-Salvati0n

Work that up-do.

Can i please receive the secret code that if entered telephonically, it will pass me through to you, which means it'll be yo beautiful ass numba ?

LOL. I love Mad TV

You're in His kingdom now.

Rest in Peace, Nanay Cioni.
1925-2009
We Love you

You Gave it Your All..

I understand if you hate me now.
I hate myself too.

Lord,, Help me.

It hurts. A lot.Why do I torment myself like this?

I'm a jackass. I don't know what I want.

Is this what I really wanted?

I wish I wasn't so indecisive.

Eff my MF life.

&everything suddenly feels better.

As I posted an update on Facebook, another one immediately came up after it from one of the networks I've joined. It was for The Bible. &It was giving another one of it's messages. So I clicked it, and sure enough, God is in control. Reading a devotion from Joel Osteen:

"All through the Bible, there are so many promises of what God has already done for us. It says in Ephesians that "God has blessed us with every spiritual blessing." It says in Colossians that "God has made us worthy." There is mercy for any mistake we will ever make. It’s already been taken care of. He paid the ultimate price through the death, burial, and resurrection of His Son, Jesus. He’s done His part. Now it’s up to us to do our part. We have to start believing it so we can receive it.

In the natural, when someone gives you a gift, what’s the first thing you usually say? "Thank you." When you give thanks, it’s a sign that you are receiving the gift. Today, start receiving what God has given you by saying, “"Father, thank You for Your mercy. Thank You for supplying all my needs. Thank You for Your goodness in my life.”

As you learn to give Him thanks, you are learning to receive from Him. Open your heart by faith today and thank Him for all the blessings He has prepared for you! "

And Yeah, I thank Him for this. Something good will come out of this event, I just know it. It's all according to HIS Will.

"Father God, I come to You today giving You thanks and praise for Your faithfulness in my life. I choose to receive Your Word which is life and strength to my soul. Help me to keep my heart focused on You. In Jesus’ Name. Amen."

Through it all, God is STILL on His throne. Praise Him for the good AND the bad.

Lates~

-Salvati0n

I feel you Ed.

I ain't gonna lie either.

It fucking hurts.

Lord..

"What am I supposed to say
So long since I've seen your face
Do you wanna kiss me
Or tell me you miss me
Or that you want me to leave"
-You and I by Michael Carreon, Kat Badar, and Jesse Barrera

Things aren't the same, I've noticed, I'm sure you've noticed too. I'm sorry for that. I'm a jerk, I know. I'm sorry for everything, for your madness, your sadness, your confusion, everything. Lord, help me now. I don't know what to do.

Inspired Mind

So I Wrote a love song today. It's about having that love at first sight, &making sure your love is real, or something. HAHA. I d k. I have yet to name it, help me? Leave an idea for the title as a comment, whoever's reading. Ahah.


Verse 1:
I walked in the park, late last night
The stars shone bright, I saw a beautiful sight
Her pretty eyes sparked a flame
They gave me emotions I could not name

PreChorus:
I thought I saw an angel that night
Could it be the moment's just right
There's nothing else that I could say
I think I'll ask her out before it's too late

Chorus:
Do you believe in the miracle of love
Do you believe in you?
Do you believe in love itself
Do you believe it could happen to you?

They say love could take some time but yet
It seems as if we've already met
It feels like we were meant to be
Together, Forever, baby you and me

Verse 2:
Come here in my arms, don't ever leave
While you're here with me, I'll make you believe
I believe in love, always and forever
I believe in us, you and I together

PreChorus:
I can't believe that love is pain
You have everything to lose and nothing to gain
Tell me you believe and look into my eyes
Do you believe I'm not like the other guys?

Repeat Chorus

Bridge:
Hold on tight, for I've given you my heart
Heart and soul, right from the start
For your love, I could wait forever
With all my heart, I believe we'll be together

Repeat Chorus til end.

Temper Temper*

I just f*cking hate living under these conditions.
Dad f*cking has a short f*cking fuse.

I F*cking want out.

Don't feel guilty

So, just because I don't want Jayvon sleeping in my room, means that I don't want to be with him? I get enough of him every damn day, why can't I have MY time.

You say, "Don't feel guilty" when all you're doing is TRYING to make me feel guilty.

What kind of father is that.

I want out.

Things Change;;

I've changed.
I don't know if it's for better, or for worse;
Somehow
Some Way
I have changed.
Times change
Things change
That's just the way i t is.

iKnowHope(:

First off, apologies for the long hiatus. I recently moved into an apartment, and we had to wait awhile to get an internet connection. Then also last week, I was gone for summer camp. I'm back though, I have much to write about. That is, if whoever really reads my blog cares.

When the nations crumble
The word of the Lord will stay
Kings may rise and fall
His love will endure
Though the strong may stumble
The joy of the Lord is strength
To my soul
I will not be shaken
I will not be moved
I will not be shaken

Tuesday, July 07, 2009 *12:40 AM
What can I say? Last week, summer camp '09, was such a blessing. Pastor Danny Cortez honestly is a great speaker. I found it funny and ironic, he talked about blogging for a brief moment, how King David was the very first "blogger", and I thought to myself, "Hmm, I'm most definitely going to blog that." Ahaha. Camp most certainly was a blessing though. If only it were longer than a week.

There were only 4 sessions this year, Pastor Danny and his family had to go back home Thursday after his last message. DJ, his son, told me that they had family from somewhere visiting, so I guess that's the reason why for his quick departure.

This years camp theme was Know Hope. I truly wondered what it meant to actually "Know Hope". What is Hope anyways? Christ gives hope. Keep your eyes permanently, not temporarily, on Jesus. If I learned anything this past week, I've learned that God is still on His throne. Through it all, the good and the bad, He's still there. Allowing it to happen. Everything happens for a reason. God doesn't make mistakes, and if you're angry for the Decisions He's mad, then you have the right to be angry. Get angry at God, He can take it. But know, he still has that Agape love, His love for us is unconditional. God Loves You. We shouldn't worry about all these sins, all these wrong things we do, the main point is to Focus on God. It is then, we'll see the light. God is good, all the time, which is why He sent his only son to die on the cross at calvary for us. He didn't just die to save us, He died so that, in turn, we may live for others. If you love the person you do not know, your enemy, your neighbor, then you'll truly know what it means to love God.

I don't know about ya'll, but I think I confused myself typing that.

It's all good though. I gotta keep that fire alive somehow.
I've made a promise to stop cursing, stop joking about people, etc. Quit those bad habits. Become a good testimony for God. Let them know I'm a Christian, and I'm proud to be having that relationship with God.

Alright, I'ma cut it here. Dang, 4 years at camp already..where does the time go.

~Lates, Salvati0n