You are My Everything..

I just want you close

coz you make me smile
I just cannot get you off my mind
with each kiss
you blow me away
and without you I think I'd go crazy
for your love
I would do anything coz to me
you are my everything

Yes, Christine, You are my Everything. This song reminds me of our conversation last night, which is why I decided to use these lyrics. Also because Randolph Permejo and Cathy Nguyen are the shizz. Also also because I miss her. Haha. Yes, I Truly can't live without her for a day. I truly can't see myself with anyone but her. God brought us together for a reason. It's up to us to see this through to the end. And I promise, we'll see it through to the end. This is a promise I intend to keep.

"I Just want you Close, Cuz you Make me Smile, I just CANNOT get you off my Mind."

On another note, I'm sorry I haven't posted a new post in awhile. I guess that double post from last time was enough to keep me down for about a week. Haha. I lost my internet connection on Tuesday, so I didn't get around to having internet again until yesterday. I haven't really been thinking about what to write, so I guess I'm ad-libbing it as I go on. Let's tell you about my week, yes? I dont remember much though. AHA. I guess nothing exciting happened this week. Monday through Friday, was the same old, same old. Went to school, stayed after school for classboard, etc. It's cool though. Me, Eljay, Eduardo, Josh, and Jason made a taxi-cab for spirit week ! Yeah......! Yeah....xD It's pretty awesome. Eljay drew it, we painted it. It looks like the real thing except for some mistakes. But it's all good, all that hard work will pay off. Honestly, we spent alot of time being childish and playing around. Hahaha. I Love You Eljay, Ed, Josh, and Jason. All Homo.....Err, I mean No Homo. >3> Hahahaha. But yeah, There were some homo-ish things going on. Deng it Josh...You and your pick up lines. Some times I think I'm a little too Childish..Ahaha. As a wise master once said ( Shout out to ELJAY )

"Growing Old is Mandatory
Growing up is optional."

But yeah, to the left is half of our taxi cab. Awesome, no? Eljay, Ed, and Josh didn't come to classboard today, but it's all good. We still got some things done. Kindof. Haha. Me, Jason Huang(different), and Jeremy got rid of some of the unneccessary marks inside with some white paint. That didn't last long. Monday's classboard afterschool meeting, we'll probably have to cut it all out and glue it onto cardboard. I'm not complaining or anything, but I'm just saying it's going to be a long, tiring day. NO WORRIES ! I have Christine to talk to about it after, Let her know my stresses, my problems, EVERYTHING. XD Haha, but I need to ask her about it, I don't want to put my burden on her shoulders. I don't want her to feel sorry for me. I just need to talk about it. Nothing else. Got it? XD. No. But do tell me about your day, I don't want to be the only one talking. Let's share the pain. Haha. Although, I'd rather have the burden on me then her. Just because I'm a good boyfriend like that. Haha. One night, we were both doing some homework when I called. I finish first, but she's still doing her homework. She thinks she'll have to stay up until Midnight, 1 AM being the latest. I tell her that I will stay up with her, but apparently, her phone's battery is "almost dead". Haha, I don't believe her about that, but Okay. I told her to get her charger too ! But nooo, She had to be the lazy girl she is, and leave it in her room while she's in the living room. XP Such a lazy chick. Haha, but it's okay. So she tells me her phone's about to die around 11:30 - 12. We say our goodbye's, our I Love You's, and I go to sleep. Then the next day comes, and we talk on AIM. I asked her why won't she let me stay up with her, and get this.

She tells me I should care about myself First.

PSH. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I did that? When it comes to our health and stuff, it's her I care about first, forget about me. But I feel like I'm getting off topic now. BACK TO CLASSBOARD ISSUES. After all the work is done, we just chill for about an hour or so. We watch Brandon and them break, or joke around. OH. OHEMGEE. JUNA DID A BABYFREEZE. Hahahahaha. She told me not to take a picture, BUT OH WELL. XD SORRY JUNA ! ---------------------> And Brandon's buff, sexiness is like everywhere.Haha. He's a G when it comes to the 6 step. Haha. I think. He's always asking if it looked cool or something. Need to let go of that fear and doubt bro. That's right. Yesterday, we had a motivational speaker, Keith Hawkins, come to our school to talk to us about Respect. Although, I feel like he talked nothing about Respect, but talked about more important matters, like self-esteem, problems, and things. He said that humans only have 2 things inside of them: Doubt and Fear. You don't do things because you fear something might happen. You doubt yourself. I actually don't quite get the concept of this. I don't get what he means by it. One day though, it'll come to me like BOOM. I got it. Haha. He was quite entertaining. He connected with us, he understood us. Cool guy, Cool Guy. Oh man, this post is unorganized, I keep going from one subject to another and back to the first, but whatev. Lately, I've caught myself singing without me acutally realizing it. Like, I'd find myself singing these songs stuck in my head : The Talking Phase - Mihchael Carreon, My Everything - Randolph Permejo ft. Cathy Nguyen, So Quiet - AJ Rafael. I need to start singing more worship songs though. Haha. I feel like I've been neglecting my Christian faith, and that's like, really bad. In Him, anything is possible. I should start singing more worship songs, yeah. Period.

Sing Unto God, sing PRAISES to his name..
-Psalm 68:4 KJV

^^^^^^^^^^ Dude, you don't even know. Them asian kids are getting pretty good at Breaking. Hahaha. DARN YOU BRANDON, ARTHUR, JACK, DANIEL, AND EVERYONE ELSE I FORGOT. So random, but yeah. OH OH. Last thing, I GOT AN A+ ON MY ENGLISH QUIZ. Fcucking beasting. Hahaha. But yeah, I guess that's all for now. Only because Christine is on now, and I want to talk to her. d( " )b

Until Next Time,
-Salvati0n

But This Feeling Inside...

I know I must Confess.

"I wish we were back in the Talking Phase
When we were so in Love and we could talk for days
Cause now this Relationship is not the Same
Don't get me wrong I'm a Lucky Guy
But I just cant hide what I feel inside
In the Talking Phase we Didn't even have to Try"

I Guess I can Write two Blogs in the same day, Right? I Don't know. I Feel Like My Thoughts, My Emotions, My True feelings, they reveal themselves at this time, when it's Late at night. Honey, if you're reading this, I'm sorry for what's written later on.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm a lucky guy, But I just can't hide what I feel inside."

I Don't know. I think I've been feeling despondent lately(hehe, you've got me saying it too.). Life's going the way I want it. Everything's just perfect. It seems a little too perfect though.

"I've been Having these weird thoughts lately...
Like, Is any of this for real...or not?"

I Love Kingdom Hearts. Random. Back to the subject at hand. I've been thinking about the future. What if I wont be able to make this last? What if she falls for someone else? What if this....What if That...I've talked to Christine about this. I told her my thoughts, my feelings, the best we both could come up with was "Don't Think About It". I try time and time again to not think about it. These thoughts just haunt me. I Love Her so Much. I truly, Honestly can't see myself with anyone other than her. Sometimes I Feel like this might not last. It is, after all, my first relationship. First relationships usually never last. Just last night, she was telling me about how her parents were fighting. This makes me think what if we end up like that? I don't want that to happen. I wish I knew what to do. I tell Christine most of my thoughts, whatever is left over goes on here. Ugh, I just don't know anymore..Maybe it's because I want to be with her, but physically, I know I can't do that. I Know God blessed me with this relationship for a reason, and I know I have to trust him. Trust him with everything, let him guide me. Guide my relationship. I'm truly blessed to have her. I thank the Lord each and everyday for her. Lord, please give me the strength to carry on. After all, this is all part of your plan

."Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.....Love never Fails..And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is Love."
-1 Corinthians 13:4-8a;13

Until Next Time..

--Salvati0n

So I wait for You...

"When the music fades
All is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless Your heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the things I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You, Jesus"

Monday, September 15, 2008.
I've missed church for 2 weeks now, which really sucks, because I really want to go. Not because of the people, not because I have to , but because of the message. I really feel like my parents are avoiding FBC Oakland now, because of some tensions going on between my mom and the auntie's. I admit, I used to go to church just because of who was there, or because I was forced to. Over time, I've come to realize that we go there for the Lord. To fellowship together, to worship our loving, Heavenly Father. But it didn't take only going to church. I haven't really realized how important this is to me until 2 years ago. 2 years ago, I was at that age where I could be allowed to go to Summer Camp. Summer camp is a Christian camp for youth which has been going on for 30 years. Or moreover, this year was it's 30th Anniversary, also my 3rd year. Anyways, my first year, back in 2006, helped me realize what kind of Christian I am. Pastor Danny (Yes, I still remember him, DJ, his son, being my best friend at camp [x) was giving his message. Since it was my first year, I wasn't used to waking up early, and then listening to hour and a half long sermons. So during his messages, I would nod off for a couple of minutes, only to wake up telling myself I have to listen. Well, I finally heard the part, which I took to heart. He was talking about 3 seats. The 3rd seat, being last, was like one of those "go to church, then leave" Christians. Nothing was really soaking in. The 2nd seat, was a mixture of the 1st and 3rd. They go to chuch, they understand the message, they just don't regurgitate it out. They don't let others know about Christ. This is where I fall. A 2nd seater. Finally, there's the 1st seat. The 1st seat is where you're the best christian you can be. You listen to the messages, you read your bible, you spread his word, you grow as a christian, etc. The 1st seat is where I want to be. For the past 2 years, I tried to reach this 1st seat. I tried to grow as a Christian. I came to realize after last years camp, was that when Camp came, the fire was as big as it can get. I get on a spiritual high. But as soon as I re-enter the real world, as soon as my feet touch the urban city soil, my fire begins to slowly die. Problems rise and such. I start to get influenced by my non-christian friends again. Things start to be normal again. Then this year's camp came. There were so many new faces, it was just inspiring. All these new people willing to learn about God, willing to serve Him, etc. Then there was the speaker. Pastor Reuel. Pastor of FBC Vallejo. Boy, did he just connect with me in so many ways. I had so much questions before camp came, and to my surprise, he answered EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM in his messages. To top it all off, a very close kuya of mine, Kuya Aaron, led the worship team. It was just WOW. We sang Hillsong United songs, and the meanings of each song just got to me. It was then I knew, I had to keep my fire lit this time. I had to grow as a Christian. Pastor Reuel gave us a challenge. If we read our bible 15 minutes a day, we'll be able to finish it in a year. I accepted this challenge, hoping I could grow. This year is just full of blessings.

Now then, this problem issue. I'm having this rollercoaster life right now. My life has it's Up's, but with every up comes a down. The parents are having their occassional fight. I can't stand it. Just to hear their screaming, to hear my mother crying. It's just unbearable. I want to stay in my room, I want to get away from it. I try to blast my music volume as loud as I can to drown it all out. I Just want to get away from it all..Where will I Go, is the problem. And How will I even get there. I would Love to be able to go to Christine at times like these. I have these thoughts about running away, to just be with her. I've also had these similar thoughts with Shawn. To Just Run away somewhere in the wilderness - just me, my bible, and God. All the time, I've chickened out. So these are just problems at home. Then there's school. School is so stressing. Only the 3rd week, and already there is a whole bunch of homework and tests. I couldn't handle the stress, so I was forced to drop AP World History, Honors English, and French II. I Was left with Honors Advanced Alg. and Trig, Honors Biology, Team Sports, History CP, Digital Photography&Computers, and English CP. This really sucks. I tried to make up for it by being in Classboard and attempt to be on the badminton team as Hoa's doubles partner. All of this just adds on to more of the stress. Then there's the friends. I Don't know who my real are friends anymore.Sure, I've been with most of them for quite awhile now. But does that really mean anything? Alot of them really act like assholes. Then, they suddenly turn that off, and turn on the nice guy? Like WTF. I feel like I can never really be serious with them. There really is only a few people I can trust in this world. I know my bruhbruh's got my back. Got that mad love for BBC. I know Christine is one of the most trustworthy people I know. Not even the cousins I can trust anymore. They all act like they have me figured out. We're all so different. They don't know me at all. I don't even know me. Weird right? I just don't know anymore. At least my life has it's up side. I have the most wonderfullest girlfriend. She's so good to me, I don't even think I deserve her. She tells me I do, I really don't think so. I really have to disagree. I'm so blessed to have someone like her. What am I saying? I keep thinking about the problems. I Shouldn't even be thinking this way. Again, we're all just living for Jesus. That's the whole reason why I put the lyrics of Heart Of Worship up there. "I'm coming back to the heart of worship, And it's all about You ,It's all about You, Jesus." That's exactly right. It's all about you Jesus. I Should stop worrying about me, me, me and just start Praising&thanking the Lord for all the good AND bad things. What got me though, was AJ Rafael's new cover video of this song. It just inspired me even more to keep my fire blazing strong.

Well, that's all for now. I have to finish some Bio Homework. I just decided to vent out my thoughts onto this here blog. Until Next Time.

--Salvati0n.

PS. Please, please, PLEASE, Pray for Hurricane Ike Victims. These hurricanes are disastrous, and it's affecting the lives of many. Thanks.

Forever;

For those of you who don't know yet, I'm Elijah Lingad. Preferably EJ, Please. I am 14 years old, turning 15 this October. What's HARD to believe, is that my current relationship status is Taken. j Yeah. it is what it is. I am taken by the wonderful Christine Padua. It's hard to believe that someone like her, fell for someone like me. I Love Her Soo Much. So Very much, Even I don't know how much is "Very Much". All I know is that my love for her is deep, and that I never knew someone out there could have a heart like hers that could ever match mines so perfectly. I consider her my perfect match, my soul mate, and my bestfriend. She's got everything. You name it, she'll most likely have it. What I've already found out is that she is Christian, Filipino, only 2 months younger than I am, and Loves God as much as I do. And Did I mention she's beautiful? Of Course you see that from that picture. We have so much in common, it's amazing. We're both Christian, we're both Filipino, we're both Fourteen turning 15, we both love music, we both have been smiling alot lately, we both like anime/manga, we both sing(Although she denies her great voice), etc. It's just too long to list. So, she's my first girlfriend ever, I want to keep it that way. I Want her to be my first and my last. But I feel wrong to think that way, all I'm saying is "I Want this, I want That". I've got to stop saying "I want", and start letting God take control. If we're meant to be together, then it's God's will for us to be together. We live far apart, which makes it kind of hard to make this relationship last forever. I've also learned that living far apart will only make this relationship stronger. I believe that theory. What I've also learned from two of my very good friends, TJ and Johann, is that we'll be together in God's Time. Exactly. In GOD'S Time. Which means He'll know when it's the right time for us to be together. Still, I have this urge to be with her for forever. FOREVER. I never want to break up with her. I'm Truely, Madly, Deeply in love with her. She's the lace to my kicks, she's the patrick to my spongebob, and she's the ink in my pen. I Honestly can't imagine myself with anyone else. On this subject of "Honesty", Honestly, I imagine me and her being together for a long while. I imagine Christine and I, together. It doesn't matter where, as long as we're together. While we're together, I imagine us having fun, and just having that great time couples usually have together. The most common image for me is bringing her on that perfect date of hers. It starts out with us having lunch, it doesn't matter where, just as long as we're eating and talking with eachother. After that, I plan on taking her to see a movie, even though it's the middle of the day. It'll be whatever movie she wants to watch, it wouldn't matter to me anyways. We're together, and I'm paying. c[: Even if she insists on halfing with me, I'll still pay the whole thing. Anyways, we'd be sitting in the movie theater, watching the movie. When I feel the time is right, I'd put my arm around her, and knowing her, she'd lean her head onto my shoulder. And if she'd allow me to, I'd use my finger, tilt her chin up, gaze into her gorgeous eyes for awhile, go in about 90%, and see if she'll complete the other 10%. So then, after the movies, it'd probably be getting darker. I'd bring her to the beach and just walk and talk. Then find this perfect place to watch the sunset. Sounds perfect, doesn't it? I Just hope I could actually pull at least half of what was said. Oh, I Forgot to tell you some important details. We met on Monday, June 23rd, 2008. We talked that night, and I instantly knew I liked her. I've never met someone like her before. Someone who seemed soo perfect. We continued to talk and talk, that it seemed like we were talking for hours at a time. And that's exactly what we did. <3>